Hey there day dreamers!
It has been a long and tough week!!! If you don’t know me very well, then you are probably not aware that I am NOT a huge fan of change. Now saying that I don’t freak out at the slightest changes in my life, either personal or work related. Changes at work I completely embrace, if I had to work at a job where we did the same old thing every day or week I would go totally bonkers! Also change at work is more of a new challenge than something to freak out about. Changes in my personal life I can handle if I am the reason for the change, say if I want to go from long to short hair, or reorganize my living room, but when it’s not in my control I really do have a tough time (at first) with it.
Earlier this week D had an interview in TO and don’t get me wrong I am so excited for his career and the great opportunities that he has coming his way, I am just freaking out because I know there is a very large possibility that I will be uprooting myself and moving once again.
Now having said that, two years ago after I graduated from university I decided to move my entire life about 2-hours down the road so I could live with D. Sure living two hours outside of the big smoke is not a big deal at all. It’s not as if I moved to another province or country, but it was a tough transition. I wasn’t working in town, I had one friend other than D that lived near by and its harder than one might think to convince friends that are living the city life to come visit you in the burbs (heaven forbid!!). But these days I am loving where I am especially after going back to school I have met some great people and I have really grown my network in the area. So earlier this week when D was telling me how well the interview went and how excited he is for the job and how he wanted to live close to work, I kind of freaked out (internally, not at him FYI)!
My week started with completely irrational tears, followed by having panic attacks and an underlying anxious feeling, it was awful! The funny thing is I lived downtown for four years, I already have a friend base there and there are plenty of great job opportunities there for me as well. So why the heck am I freaking out!!!
I have boiled it down to this: D is leading the change (i.e. it’s in his hands not mine, and that’s not how I roll), the pressure of finding a job may be getting to me just a little bit, I will have to rent a new (smaller and more expensive house which I am not happy about…), I’ll have to move my entire life again and I’ll have to be a grown up once and for all (I did a short stint after uni, but went back to school for one last year of avoiding the real world).
You know what though? It will be fine! I will be fine! I moved once before under far worse circumstances. Both D and I will have ourselves great jobs, I’ll be closer to family and friends, and ultimately I think I will be really happy with where my life/our lives are going.
So my lesson for myself (and others who want my advice) this week is, embrace change and just let it happen. Everything will work itself out at the end of the day, it always does. Things may not turn out exactly how you have pictured them to, but that’s okay!! My life may be going in unexpected directions, but I’m going to go with it like I always do.
So keep your head up and keep living those day dreams (no matter where they take you!!).